An obituary for Phoebe
This is going to be a different kind of post than normal, it’s a little more personal and honest. This is more for me to just get some stuff out of my system than anything, it has been a rough day in our home. I am not going into her final hours unless I feel it’s worth noting in the post, cause I want this to be more of a celebration of her life than anything.
To tell the story of Phoebe is to tell the story of all of her known owners, she was the unlikely find at a shelter. What we kind of concluded is that she had a family or elder person who was her first owner. She was then found on the street and taken in by a shelter. We’ll circle back to this in a moment but first some information on her first known owner: my mother.
My mother had a dog named Joe, and he passed away suddenly and it gutted my mother, while she would carry on after a few weeks (maybe a month, I’m not 100% sure.) My father just concluded my mom needed a new dog, being the ever-adventurous type. He took my mom to a shelter in Cleveland, Ohio why you ask? Why the hell not, we’re lucky he did not suddenly decide to go to Ashtabula for a pet. Mom was not thrilled with the idea but under pressure, she eventually went. When they got there this little black pug was waiting, when my mom saw it I guess a guy who was BIG into pugs saw them and explained all the things he loved about the breed, and the shelter then opted to let them meet. I guess it was a success or we would not be here talking about her.
When my parents came back home they announced we would be having a new member of the family. We were going to have to wait a bit due to spaying her and I suppose paperwork. As we did the family all brainstormed names. My mom was kind of taken with Pugsley due to puns (wow, wonder why I get this from?) However, having gotten out of a relationship with a girl who had many a pug and yes one named Pugsley I talked her out of her. Even when we kind of thought pugs were a bitch my sister suggested my ex’s name. I think we had the TV on and an episode of “Friends” was on, I am not sure if it was me or my mom but one of us said, “Why not Phoebe like after that girl?” Thus the decision was made, and I avoided having to deal with calling a dog Pugsley…
Phoebe's first owner: Mom
Once she was brought home she settled in quickly to the family routine, her first night with us we had another dog who was at the time the longest serving of our dogs. She was sitting next to my mother watching TV, Phoebe looked at them walked to the door, and suddenly started barking. She caused such a ruckus that the other dog got down. Upon her leaving, Phoebe instantly got up and curled next to her. When the other dog came back she looked down at her and I guess in dog said “This is my spot.”
Another adventure was when she first arrived and the dog was so well-behaved without a leash that she decreed that she shall not walk with a leash. She could be in her mind kept under control, and do what needed to be done. This worked well for a few weeks until one day a red truck came by. Phoebe HATED red trucks, and it was understandable because they usually drove by at top speed. I guess following basic dog logic, she decided to chase after it, naturally barking.
The other dog and I saw this and I think we both went “Oh SHIT!” and proceeded to chase after her, well I did the other dog was taking a piss every 2 feet so I am sadly dragging her behind me as this black bolt is chasing at top speed a truck she’ll never catch up with. And slowly making her way into the road in the process. Finally catching her in the neighbor’s yard a car stopped close up as I scooped her and nodded thanks. After this, I told my mom she needed a leash, and she agreed.
As time went on my parents got older and as I was at work a lot my sister and her kid slowly began to take more charge of her. I am not counting her as an owner on this, because my mother was still alive, and was usually unable to go and be with her for reasons I won’t get into. But as time went on my mother and her usually would be found in the TV room or her room watching TV phoebe would be with her on the couch or nearby snoring. This dog could snore and was loud enough to wake the dead and keep them up so they naturally probably would make coffee and bitch “I’ve been dead 200 years what the fuck!?”
When my mother got sick, she stood by her she would keep with her and spent many a day in the bed or near her bed keeping her company. As the time drew near we were told sometimes animals will stay until the person they are bonded with is gone, I remember walking by her room and seeing Phoebe staring at her. Then one moment my other sister walked by and saw her get up and walk away. She did not pass just then but would do so about a few hours later. Her life with mom was an adventure and also they were thick as thieves. I am sure my mom was cursing my dad the whole ride to get her, but upon meeting, I feel like a hole that was left in her when Joe passed filled up, even if it was just for a little bit the little pug that could made my mom happy and gave her some comfort even as she passed.
Phoebe’s second owner: Dad
When my mother passed it seemed that the Mur machine next bonded to my father, this was a quiet period but not without its events. Most of the time my father spent with her was usually on the couch much like my mom watching TV and belly rubs and other things would occur. One of the first events to happen in this period was the introduction of Naomi into the family, a kitten my dad brought in for reasons we still don’t know. This period was also marked by more time with my sister (not sure how much of it was choice to be blunt.) The dog was independent and while she loved my dad I am sure even enjoyed spending time with him. Phoebe was always more likely to bond with another female. So in a sense, I guess we’re also gonna consider this a co-ownership…
Phoebe’s Co-Owner: Ili
I classify this as a co-ownership because in a lot of ways she still spent time with my dad, Ili had met her years prior and they were quickly friends when she was around, but after my mom left my sister was attempting to bond her to her. Well, if you don’t know a pug is not gonna do things you want it to do. When she announced she was moving she pretty much set her mind on things. One night we were in our bedroom watching something. We had set some pet beds up for the various animals in our house at the time. Phoebe walked in and just looked at us and took her place in one of the beds more or less declaring us her hoomans suddenly. My sister was calling for Phoebe to come to bed to which she did not budge. She eventually gave up and just like that Ili I guess became a co-owner with Dad.
As time moved on, she would be always around her, and in anything she did, she would be beside her. If she was drawing Phoebe if she was not with dad would be sitting next to her desk, snoring away to create some sort of weird animal white noise. However, she always made sure to spend the most time with my father, when he was home from work they were nigh inseparable, and simply did the check-in on Ili and myself, I guess Naomi got the short end of the stick and had to keep tabs on me in some sort of weird trade of owners.
At this point also we should explain the origin of her best buddy: Lefty, Lefty came in from the outside pretty fucked up after a fall from a tree messed her spine up. My wife had fallen in love with the little shit about instantly, and Dad when the first chill of winter came had brought her in. Naomi was not too thrilled with this as she did not like the outside cats. As Naomi and she met Naomi got angry, as she was about to swat the little kitten like a pro-wrestling tag-in, Phoebe got in front of her and pushed herself toward Naomi in an aggressive manner, defending the kitten. She stood her ground and Naomi eventually coincided, at this point, Lefty and Phoebe were in the kitten’s mind best buddies. We would often use the Goku voice from Dragon Ball Z abridged when she was near her going “HEY BEST BUDDY!” About the idiocy of Goku calling Vegita a bestie to his annoyance. These two were peas in a pod and even until the end, when we brought Phoebe home to say her goodbyes to the pets, Lefty cuddled up close to her and did not want to leave her side until we had to take her on the last journey.
As things went, my father was also slowly succumbing to a disease, and she began to spend more and more time with Ili and myself. When he did pass I promised him we’d look after her, the only problem was between the 2 cats and the 2 dogs we had to make a hard choice. We had to let the other dog go to another family, my reason was this: Phoebe had been losing owners all her life, and I and Ili were kind of the constant. While the other dog was attached she would be able to easily find a new family, with Phoebe I was not so sure she’d be able to adapt after losing so many people in her life. I could not let her have another owner, if we were gonna be the constant we were gonna be the last owners…
Final Owners: Brandon and Ili
So at this point, we are the owners and we decided let’s do something insane and move to Texas, and bring the merry band with us! The dog was used kind of to riding in cars but wasn’t too much of a fan (thank god). And the five of us made our way down to the Lone Star state...myself begrudgingly. Her time with us was not nearly as eventful as with my parents, but she was always taken care of and made sure to have plenty of food water, and belly rubs.
The thing I guess I haven’t conveyed here as much is my time with her, while I’ve known her all my life it wasn’t until Dad passed that I developed a bond. Me and the pug just kind of existed, and I don’t mean it in a bad way, but she was spending time with her owners and I just was doing my thing and of course spending time with her. I don’t think until the last few years we developed much. Sometimes I would get on the ground and she’d climb up on my chest and we’d “wrestle” By that I mean moving her left and right and rubbing her head. When I would lay on the ground she would run over as fast as she could to start this.
The last few months were not bad, she was sixteen so her age was eventually gonna creep up and there were signs. Some days she would not wanna go to the stairs to go out or come in. So we’d pick her up and take her. I’d always before going to work take her and I carried her like a baby down the stairs and she went out not 100% awake yet but doing her thing. I often came home to find her in her bed next to Ili’s desk snoring up a storm or looking up at me with a greeting of hello. Usually accompanied by Lefty sleeping beside her. She used to be spoiled in the mornings Ili went to work and I was at home and I’d place her on the bed with me as I went to sleep. Ili called me out on it a lot but I still did it. But as she has gotten older we stopped it, also partly cause I got the impression she was not as comfortable as she once was there. If we were watching TV she’d often be on the sofa watching with us, demanding attention or belly rubs. Her need for attention was so strong it impacted streams. If you listened to TBD! Or the ½ assed show you could occasionally hear Phoebe’s opinion about whatever, and at times we animated her for the channel. I jokingly titled her the “Forever Employee of the Month.” As a joke, we did this so she would not complain. But she still did anyway.
I’ll skip over much of her last day on the planet cause I don’t wanna recount a lot of it, what I can tell you is when we made the decision, we brought her home to say goodbye to Lefty and Naomi, I was debating on getting her some chocolate, but Ili said get her some pattie cause she may not be able to bite it. So I went to the store and got her the nicest one I could find. I’m happy to say she licked the plate clean of her last meal.
As we were prepping her, I was telling her she’d soon see Mom and Dad again, I don’t know what is on the other side. But I can’t believe a deity who puts pets on the planet would not reunite them with their owners when they go or when the owners arrive. I told her to tell my dad the ending of “The Expanse” was exactly what he thought, even though it wasn’t and that we’d be there soon enough but in time before we got there she would have to look over the two she left behind before we get there. I kept assuring her she’d see Mom and Dad again. I wanted her last moments to be peaceful and hopeful. I guess I am an optimist but I believe she is truly reunited with them, and getting to know Joe and a few other animals I’m sure my parents got reunited with as part of their family.
As for the ones left behind, to say we’re not devastated would be a massive understatement, I’ll admit it and say I don’t think I ever cried this hard in my life. I am not one to be in tune with emotions besides anger and it’s weird feeling this odd discharge rolling down my cheek as I write this post. I’m taking tomorrow off from work to which my manager said “Yes” without hesitation, there is a lot for me to process here, Phoebe was the last link between me and my parents, and it’s a lot for me to unpack right now. To be honest, I have no idea how I’m gonna act in the next twenty-four hours am I nervous? Yeah, a little not in an I’m gonna hurt myself kind of way, but me and my emotions, have not exactly had a good history...again aside from anger, and anger is even looking at me unsure what the hell is about to happen.
As she passed, I told her me and Ili I were going to the mall and we’d be back in a bit, I said this so she knew we’d always be back for her. I also said she was always welcome to come in and hang out with us but we may not see her, but we’ll know she’s there. I guess she took the initiative as when Ili went into the bedroom she swore she heard the world’s loudest snore. It caused us to break down a bit. That is gonna be the next couple of days...maybe weeks for us. But we stayed with her as they put her to asleep, we made sure she was comfy and felt the love we had for her left with her. It is not gone, we will be getting her ashes back. And per Ili’s decree, she is not gonna rest her in Texas, but she’ll be going with us to Ohio to our new home. She’s our first real pet as a family unit for us, I promised my dad we’d take care of her. As she moves over to their side I am sure he is going to return the favor, and one day we’ll all be seeing one another again.
May the road rise with you Phoebe, and we’ll see you again in time…
Your owner,
Brandon
This was a tough one to read. I'm so happy Phoebe was in your life. It made me happy Phoebe was the family pet but she ended up with you. It was the same with Tiger for me. It's always hard losing somebody you're close to and care for. It's been over two years since Tiger's passed and it still hurts. But we can only be grateful for the opportunities and perspectives they've given us that we otherwise wouldn't have. We cared for them and they gave us so much more back. Phoebe did what she needed to do while she was here. And that was to be a light for you both and she left that light in you. I hope you both have been healing okay. Was debating reading this one but glad that I did. You have some wonderful memories.